Union's Unseen Man

Jeff lives in a tent in the woods behind Dickey Bub Farm & Home near the intersection of Highway 50 and the Bourbeuse River in Union, Mo. He has been homeless since July when he and his step-grandma, 75-year-old Barbara Sohn, were evicted from their home in Union, Mo., as a result of Jeff’s increasingly erratic behavior. Barbara then moved to Washington, Mo., to live with her daughter’s family but didn’t feel comfortable having Jeff come too because there are children in the home.

While Barbara usually makes the drive from Washington, Mo., to Union, Mo., almost daily to check in on her grandson, she has been unable to for the past week because of car trouble. Her vehicle had a broken axel, which cost $900 to repair. Barbara said she thinks the damage happened from driving on unpaved roads and grass when visiting Jeff.

“I’ve lived out there for almost two years,” Jeff said. “Why am I getting all this fucking anxiety about her not being able to help?”

Other than occasionally seeing his step-grandma, Jeff’s social interactions are limited to brief conversations with customer service workers and the occasional exchange with fellow homeless community members.

To avoid isolating himself, Jeff walks. And walks. And walks.

He averages 35,000-40,000 steps each day — the equivalent of 16-20 miles. He starts his mornings by leaving his campsite in the woods and making his way to the nearby Jack in the Box where he fills up his water bottle, charges his flash light and phone, and takes notes in his spiral notebook while studying YouTube videos about everything from machine learning to electromagnetic fields. Then he’s moving on to Quick Trip or going up the hill along East State Highway 47 to reach the Zephyr Express. After going back down the hill, Jeff cuts across Dickey Bub Farm & Home’s parking lot, up and down a set of concrete steps on the hill and through a field until he’s back at his tent.

Sometimes he makes his way to the nearby Bourbeuse River to fish, wash his clothes, sharpen the machete he uses to cut trails in the woods or just sit and talk with the voices in his head. Jeff said he has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia along with other mental health disorders. He said the voices can be “rough” sometimes. They become worse for him at night or when he’s craving alcohol.

During the night Jeff sits at Jack in the Box or Taco Bell. He takes advantage of the chains’ late hours and free WiFi to study with his phone while his flashlight and Wood’s phone charge. In an attempt to keep his spiraling thoughts under control, Jeff also walks along Highway 50 picking up other people’s trash and putting it in bags to declutter the road verge.

When he’s finally ready for bed, Jeff goes back to his tent in the woods. He uses disinfectant to wipe down the floor because he is paranoid that strangers may have had sex inside his tent while he was away.

Physically and mentally exhausted from the day, he falls asleep only minutes after his head hits the pillow.

"I can go all day long and all night long, you know it?” Jeff said. “You just got to keep going.”

In the morning Jeff visits Candy Wood, a 64-year-old homeless woman who lives in a tent one site over from his, and her dog, Diesel. He takes her phone up to Jack in the Box to charge before going about his day. Wood said Jeff’s a good guy, and she wishes more people would try to help him.

Because Jeff has been banned from both Quick Trip and Zephyr Express for stealing liquor in the past, Wood occasionally pools her limited money with his to buy him liquor. Despite consuming as much alcohol as he can afford each day, Jeff said he wouldn’t consider himself to be an alcoholic.

“Just having one [shot with me] alleviates all that anxiety of ‘I’ve got to get one. I’ve got to get one. I’ve got to get one,’” Jeff said.

When she visits her step-grandson, Barbara brings Jeff food, clean clothes and other necessities. She said she tries not to give him more than $10 and goes into stores with him when she can to prevent him from purchasing alcohol. She said she has to put him on a tight budget because otherwise he will take every dollar she has. Although some people in Barbara’s family have chastised her for "enabling him," she said she knows she's not going to live forever and understands she can't keep coddling him.

“Do I worry about him? All the time,” Barbara said. “I don’t like Jeff’s situation, but I’ve tried. This is not the life I would want for him.”

Jeff was less than six months old when Barbara, then 42, started raising him with Jeff’s grandfather Mack Sohn. When Mack was 60 years old, he passed away from cancer. During his time in hospice Mack would call out for his grandson in the middle of the night. Jeff would go to him every time. He was only 14 years old.

Barbara said she worries she triggers Jeff by asking him about his plans for the future and setting boundaries with him. She said she’s not going to live forever and can’t keep coddling him. Barbara draws from Social Security, leaving her on a fixed income. She said being completely on her own in trying to meet his needs and keep him alive has taken a mental and financial toll on her.

“I just can’t do it anymore at my age, but I can’t deny him,” Barbara said. “I do [love him], more than he’ll ever know.”

Despite the innumerable challenges he faces living in the woods, Jeff insists he’s fine and doesn’t need help.

“I was destined for the woods,” Jeff said.

Nevertheless, Jeff wants to “get the fuck out of the tent” and “be able to relax a little bit.” He turns 33 later this week, and in the year to come he hopes to take steps toward finding housing, getting a car and starting a romantic relationship.

“Either way I know it will be fine,” Jeff said. “Just take it one day at a time, but the prize at the end’s always worth it, is gonna be worth it I think — I know.”