Izzy walks to her front door after taking out the trash before school on Tuesday, April 15, 2025, at her home in Jefferson City, Mo. She wore her mom’s sparkly gold jacket and a crown for her elementary school’s “Queen Day.” Izzy missed the 6:45 a.m. bus, so her mom, Jessie, had to drive her to school before work. “I think her life will be more difficult than most if she continues on this journey, which I assume she will,” Jessie said of Izzy being a transgender girl. “I don’t want somebody to view Izzy as a predator. … I’m afraid for Izzy.”

Izzy, 9, and Gabe, 11, wrestle together while Evie, 13, scrolls on her phone on Sunday, Jan. 19, 2025, at their home in Jefferson City, Mo. Instead of attending church like the family usually does on Sundays, Jessie took her kids to drag brunch at the Dandy Lion Cafe in Ashland, Mo. Jessie said having the family go to drag brunch was a way for them to get some more queer joy in their lives in advance of President-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration the next day. “Trump doesn’t give a shit about trans people,” Jessie said. “How trans people are framed if you’re only watching Fox News or you’re only listening to the president, they’re predators.”

Gabe watches as Jessie ties Izzy’s hair into a bun before school on Tuesday, April 15, 2025, at the family’s home in Jefferson City, Mo. Jessie made “JUST Eggs” for Izzy because of her allergies, and Gabe had toast with Nutella for breakfast. “Gabe has always been more popular but wants to be more dorky,” Jessie said of her son’s choice in friends at school. “When I was in school, there wasn’t any gay kids. … There wasn’t a single out kid in school.”

A bag of medications sits on Jessie’s kitchen table on Friday, Oct. 18, 2024, at her home in Jefferson City, Mo. Because she and two of her children, Izzy and Gabe, have severe allergies, Jessie said she never leaves the house without their EpiPens. Gabe is autistic and, like Jessie, has ADHD. Izzy was also recently diagnosed with alpha-gal syndrome. Both Jessie and Evie have eosinophilic esophagitis, an inflammation of the esophagus. Evie has also been diagnosed with cyclic vomiting syndrome (CVS). “I don’t think there’s any way for me to step away from my job and still get paid,” Jessie said of considering taking a leave of absence to care for Evie with her CVS diagnosis. “And, I can’t not get paid.”

Izzy, center, shoots baskets with her teammates before her basketball game on Thursday, Jan. 30, 2025, at The Linc in Jefferson City, Mo. Izzy’s team lost the game 46-6. Because Izzy is transgender, Jessie said she does think her daughter will ever be allowed to participate in more than community sports. “She’s only gone to school as a girl,” Jessie said. “She’s only ever been a girl.”

Jessie presses her forehead to Izzy’s while watching marching bands compete on Saturday, Oct. 12, 2024, at Southern Boone High School in Ashland, Mo. Jessie helped Izzy put on lip gloss during the performances. Jessie said Izzy wants to get her ears pierced, and while she is supportive of her daughter she is also certain her kids’ father—who shares 50/50 custody and refuses to support or affirm their gender identities or gender expressions—would not allow it. “If I send Iz with ears pierced, what’s gonna stop Dad from sending her back with chopped off hair?” Jessie said.

From left, Laynie, 17, Evie, 13, Gabe, 11, and Izzy, 9, walk together through the Sophia M. Sachs Butterfly House on Friday, March 28, 2025, at the St. Louis Zoo in St. Louis. The kids entered the zoo before Jessie because she was unable to find parking but met back up with her after exiting the butterfly house. “I grew up with yelling, spanking … and, unfortunately, when I get overwhelmed or whatever, I go back to that,” Jessie said. “I want to do better. I want to be a positive parent. I don’t want to yell at my kids.”

Evie, Gabe and Izzy play in the back yard together at home during spring break on Tuesday, March 25, 2025, at their home in Jefferson City, Mo. The siblings played catch and wrestled together, throwing grass and jumping on each other’s backs. “Izzy’s always just been OK with being herself no matter what anybody tells her,” Jessie said. “She’s much, much happier being her.”

Izzy looks at her reflection while viewing a collection of reptiles through a glass window on Friday, March 28, 2025, at the St. Louis Zoo in St. Louis. Izzy was initially excited to see the tigers, but by the end of the day her favorite animal was the polar bear. Jessie said that while Izzy has “no awareness” of the anti-LGBTQ+ hatred that exists in the United States, she does not know how to protect her queer children from hatred under the Trump Administration. “My parents voted for this. They want somebody to force my trans daughter to be my son,” Jessie said. “My parents think bad language and being fat are the two worst things on Earth, but you support Donald Trump. You support hate.”

Gabe watches television during Spring Break on Tuesday, March 25, 2025, at his home in Jefferson City, Mo. Although he continues to play sports on girls’ or co-ed teams, he started socially transitioning publicly this school year. “Who Gabe is now is always who Gabe’s been,” Jessie said. “He already ‘others’ himself a little bit, and I don’t want him to be [the] odd man out.”

Jessie asks Evie about the clothing her daughter packed in her suitcase on Tuesday, May 27, 2025, at their home in Jefferson City, Mo. Evie, Gabe and Izzy stayed with Jessie’s parents while Jessie had surgery. Earlier in the year Evie had threatened to shoot Izzy with her BB gun. Izzy told the neighbors, who alerted Jessie. Evie said she had been joking, but the children’s father reacted poorly and told Jessie he wanted to either send Evie to juvie or to put her on a psychiatric hold. Evie spoke with her case worker and therapist who both agreed she was not a danger to herself or others, and the family now has a safety plan in place. “I can’t make her do homework. I’ve tried. It’s a battle every second of every day,” Jessie said. “I don’t know where to set the limits at. There are no good answers.” Because of Evie’s behavioral issues and poor grades during the recent school year, however, she will also spend the summer in Concordia, Mo., with her conservative grandparents. “Is it OK to let my child be parented by people whose values I don’t always agree with?” Jessie said.

Jessie pauses for a moment in the stairwell to wait for Izzy, Gabe and Evie before driving them to their various medical appointments on Monday, Nov. 25, 2024, at her home in Jefferson City, Mo. “In one way I want to be like, ‘Why am I not enough? I’m here for you for everything,’” Jessie said. But she continued by saying she understands why her children would also like for their dad to be in their lives. “These kids have got to understand I’m doing the best I can, but it’s only me.”

Dr. Norbert Richardson and Dr. Saeed Arefanian, two members of Jessie’s surgical care team, check on her as she recovers from bariatric weight loss surgery on Thursday, May 29, 2025, at University Hospital in Columbia, Mo. “It’s like I did 1,000 crunches,” Jessie said. The day before Jessie’s operation, Gabe said he was “really worried” for her surgery because the procedure sounded “a lot like starvation” to him. Still, Jessie said she believes weight loss surgery will allow her to be healthier and live longer for her children. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by doing this surgery, but I just hope I’m not doing the wrong thing,” Jessie said.

Jessie speaks on the phone with Izzy’s school nutritionist while recovering from bariatric surgery on Thursday, May 29, 2025, at University Hospital in Columbia, Mo. Jessie explained what options are available for Izzy as “safe foods” and offered suggestions for how to avoid allergens such as soy, eggs, fruit with skins, gelatin and fiber in school lunches to minimize the chance of Izzy having a serious allergic reaction during summer school.

Evie watches from the couch as Jessie organizes the family’s medication bag on Thursday, April 17, 2025, at their home in Jefferson City, Mo. “I don’t want us to always be subsiding on food stamps and a part-time job, but I also don’t know how to solo parent three kids with mental health [issues] and being a veteran,” Jessie said. “I don’t know how to do it as one person.”

Jessie administers Evie’s weekly shot of dupilumab to treat her eosinophilic esophagitis, a chronic disease that causes inflammation in the esophagus, on Sunday, Jan. 19, 2025, at their home in Jefferson City, Mo. “Don’t you think this is ridiculous for something we do every single week?” Jessie said to Evie regarding her daughter’s negative emotional reaction to the injection. “Thank God Evie’s not the trans one and doesn’t have to do shots more often.”

Jessie strokes Evie’s hair while watching presidential election results on TV shortly after midnight on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2024, at her home in Jefferson City, Mo. Evie, who was experiencing a cyclic vomiting syndrome flair up, slept on the couch to ease her pain. “I am so scared about this election,” Jessie said. “We start by taking women’s rights. Whose rights are we taking next? We’ve already taken trans people’s rights.” Jessie voted for Kamala Harris and voted “Yes” on Amendment 3, a ballot measure that would create a right to reproductive freedom in Missouri. She said Izzy was in tears earlier that evening because Donald Trump hates trans people, Puerto Rican people and women. Jessie said all she could do was hug Izzy and tell her she’ll take care of her, even though she doesn’t know how to do that. “We knew that Kamala Harris was a long-shot, but she was so much more exciting than Biden,” Jessie said. “How will this impact us? I don’t know. But it’s not gonna be good. … I wanted to be concerned about this, but I’m also thinking about [Evie] and if she’s gonna be able to get up and go to school tomorrow.”

Jessie does laundry on Saturday, Feb. 8, 2025, at her home in Jefferson City, Mo. “All I feel like I ever do is chores,” Jessie said. “Why does there never seem to be enough time to do all the things?”

Jessie hugs Gabe before bed on Monday, Oct. 21, 2024, at their home in Jefferson City, Mo. “I would like to have a lovely queer space for my kids,” Jessie said. “I want when the kids bring somebody home to see, ‘It’s safe.’”

Jessie, center back, rests her eyes while Evie, right, reads TJ Klune’s “Somewhere Beyond the Sea” to Izzy, left, and Gabe, center front, before bedtime on Friday, Dec. 6, 2024, at the family’s home in Jefferson City, Mo. “We don’t have a lot of money; we have a lot of love,” Jessie said. “I don’t want to lose my kids. I love them. I’m not the best parent, but I love them. And they know I support them no matter what.”