Jessie never expected to be a 41-year-old single mother raising three medically complex LGBTQ+ children of color on only a private school band teacher’s salary.
Izzy, a 9-year-old transgender girl, began socially transitioning before kindergarten. Gabe, an 11-year-old transgender non-binary boy, has been socially transitioning at home for several years, but this is his first school year publicly using he/they pronouns. Evie, who recently turned 13, is cisgender and pansexual.
“It’s weird having two [transgender kids] because then I have to decide how I’m gonna pay for it and how I’m gonna pay for both [to transition],” Jessie said.
While Jessie and her now ex-husband were having marital problems before Izzy came out, Jessie said his refusal to affirm their children's gender identities helped solidified her decision to move forward with their separation.
“Nobody is going to choose their life being more difficult,” Jessie said. “[But] I would rather have an alive kid over a not alive kid."
At the end of the 2024-25 school year, Jessie's teaching contract was not renewed, and after the summer she will need to find alternative employment in order to continue qualifying for Missouri's Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program benefits.
"My kids are the same kids who I grew in my belly and I nursed and I loved," Jessie said."I am trying to be both parents for my kids."
Along with supporting her children in their queerness, Jessie also manages their myriad medical conditions including Evie’s cyclical vomiting syndrome and eosinophilic esophagitis (EOE), Gabe’s autism and ADHD, and Izzy’s severe food allergies and alpha-gal syndrome. Simultaneously, Jessie is handling her own ADHD, EOE and mental health as a survivor of military sexual assault as well as recovery from bariatric weight loss surgery.
“It’s me. I’m everything,” Jessie said of being a single parent. “I can’t be everything to everyone. I can’t do it all. But I have to."