Jessie never expected to be a single parent raising three medically complex LGBTQ+ children of color on only a private school band teacher’s salary.
Izzy, who is a 9-year-old transgender girl, began socially transitioning before kindergarten. Gabe, who is an 11-year-old transgender non-binary boy, has been socially transitioning at home for several years, but this is his first school year publicly using he/they pronouns. Evie, who recently turned 13, is pansexual.
“It’s weird having two [transgender kids] because then I have to decide how I’m gonna pay for it and how I’m gonna pay for both [to transition],” Jessie said.
While Jessie and her now ex-husband were having marital problems even before Izzy came out, she said his refusal to affirm their children helped solidified her decision.
“Nobody is going to choose their life being more difficult,” Jessie said. “[But] I would rather have an alive kid over a not alive kid."
This past pay period was Jessie’s first time not being able to fully pay her bills. Along with supporting her children in their queerness, Jessie also manages their myriad medical conditions including Evie’s cyclical vomiting syndrome and eosinophilic esophagitis, Gabe’s autism and ADHD, and Izzy’s severe food allergies.
“It’s me. I’m everything,” Jessie said of being a single parent. “I can’t be everything to everyone. I can’t do it all. But I have to."