Husbands Travis Griffin, 45, and Jeff Terry, 47 knew each other in middle school but reconnected as adults following the 2011 Joplin tornado that destroyed much of their hometown and left nearly 160 people dead. While Travis said he never had to “come out” or explain his sexuality to his family or the world, he did encounter traumatizing prejudice during his time in the armed forces when he said he was raped “to teach me a lesson about being gay and being in the Marine Corps.”
By the time Jeff was 11 years old, he knew he was not straight. Still, he only came out as gay in his mid 30s and overcame harassment both in the workplace and from his neighbors as well as a deep lack of acceptance from his family because of his sexuality. Now, despite extreme moments of suffering and pain as well as moments of joy and acceptance in their past, the couple is secure in their marriage as well as their relationship with God through their membership in Jefferson City, Missouri’s Episcopal Church.
“There were times when I would just question whether God even existed or not because I couldn't understand my situation, but now being 47 years old I understand we all have trials. And the reason why God puts us through trials, I believe, is to make us stronger people,” Jeff said. “And so I didn’t see it at the time, but I was being put through trials to make me stronger and to make me the person that I am today. And so we kind of started getting back into our faith. We started going to church. We went to the Presbyterian church in Joplin. They were very affirming, very welcoming to us. They wanted us there. We enjoyed it there. And I slowly started processing and making some decisions. And I still am today. There are times where I’ll lay down and I’ll pray and I’ll say, ‘You know, God, I believe in my heart that this is right and this is OK, but if I’m wrong, forgive me.’ I don’t have a lot of moments like that because I’m very confident that what Travis and I are doing and what we have is ok. We love each other, and God is love.”
“I’d been through, like, ‘Turn Me Back Around’ ranch in my own church as a kid where they tried to ‘un-gay’ you, things like that. But I saw then that a church can be affirming. You can have different viewpoints and still be a Christian, still be gay, still follow Christ. And then we found the church that we’re in today, which has been a Godsend. It is the most affirming church. It is the most loving people. It is the reason that we are able to do what we do on Mondays when we go to work and continuously do that every week. It’s our lifeline, it really is. And it has been such a good experience, and it has taught me that you can be Christian and not have the same viewpoints as other Christians, still be Christian, still be saved, still have a relationship with God and Christ. And that has been such a lifeline for us.”